Saturday, November 12, 2011
Awesome Word (Or Phrase) of the Unspecified Random Time Period
Velocipede: Noun: A velocipede is any human-powered land vehicle with one or more wheels. A bicycle is the most common velocipede nowadays, but unicycles, tricycles, quadricycles--most cycles in fact--are velocipedes, as well as scooters and monowheels. A possible sentance containing the word is "Shall I escort you to your velocipede?"
Friday, November 4, 2011
Going Postal
By Terry Pratchett
A Novel of Discworld
The Post Office of Ankh Morpork is in disrepair, no one uses it, and it's Post Master Generals keep dying. And don't ask about the New Pie. They don't like to talk about it. Bergholt Stuttley (Bloody Stupid) Johnson was involved, which if you know anything about Ankh Morpork, should tell you quite a bit. Anyway, things went very bad, until the Post Office was where you put letters if you never wanted to see them again. Lord Vetinari wished to restore it to its former glory, make it useful again. And so, he appointed the best sort of man for any government job. A convicted criminal.
Now, Moist Von Lipwig ( Yes, that is his name. It is pronounced Lip Vick, and Moist is a perfectly common name in Uberwald) has never killed anyone, or even physically hurt anyone. All he ever did was trick people who though they were tricking him, and forge a few papers. His motto is "Never look back, you never know who might be catching up." He was a very successful conman until the police caught him, and sentenced him to be hanged. Which he was. He then woke up with a choice between honest employment, and the option of actually having the execution be SUCCESSFUL, if a bit late. He ran for it and was dragged back by a golem (huge clay man, literally fiery eyes, NEVER stops, EVER). So now he is the Post Master. And between all that buisness with the clacks, and the men on the roof, and the letters talking to him, and the secret organisation of postmen, and Moist's runaway mouth, adrenaline addiction, and instinct for conning people... well, things could get interesting. Oh, and the girl.
Well, Terry Pratchett has done it again! Yet another book, yet another few hours straight of hysterical laughter, yet another set of fantastic characters and caricatured reality. This book goes straight to the top of my reread list again and again, and again and again I love it. The mad genius of humor has brought forth another fabulous creation, and if I don't wind up reading it until I have large sections memorized, it won't be for lack of trying.
A Novel of Discworld
The Post Office of Ankh Morpork is in disrepair, no one uses it, and it's Post Master Generals keep dying. And don't ask about the New Pie. They don't like to talk about it. Bergholt Stuttley (Bloody Stupid) Johnson was involved, which if you know anything about Ankh Morpork, should tell you quite a bit. Anyway, things went very bad, until the Post Office was where you put letters if you never wanted to see them again. Lord Vetinari wished to restore it to its former glory, make it useful again. And so, he appointed the best sort of man for any government job. A convicted criminal.
Now, Moist Von Lipwig ( Yes, that is his name. It is pronounced Lip Vick, and Moist is a perfectly common name in Uberwald) has never killed anyone, or even physically hurt anyone. All he ever did was trick people who though they were tricking him, and forge a few papers. His motto is "Never look back, you never know who might be catching up." He was a very successful conman until the police caught him, and sentenced him to be hanged. Which he was. He then woke up with a choice between honest employment, and the option of actually having the execution be SUCCESSFUL, if a bit late. He ran for it and was dragged back by a golem (huge clay man, literally fiery eyes, NEVER stops, EVER). So now he is the Post Master. And between all that buisness with the clacks, and the men on the roof, and the letters talking to him, and the secret organisation of postmen, and Moist's runaway mouth, adrenaline addiction, and instinct for conning people... well, things could get interesting. Oh, and the girl.
Well, Terry Pratchett has done it again! Yet another book, yet another few hours straight of hysterical laughter, yet another set of fantastic characters and caricatured reality. This book goes straight to the top of my reread list again and again, and again and again I love it. The mad genius of humor has brought forth another fabulous creation, and if I don't wind up reading it until I have large sections memorized, it won't be for lack of trying.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Awesome Word (Or Phrase) of the Unspecified Random Time Period
Gallimaufry: Noun: A "gallimaufry" is either a confused jumble or medley of things or a hash made from minced or diced meats. I have no idea where I first heard this, as it is not a word in much common use. I find this to be a great pity, as it is an extremely awesome word!
Sunday, October 16, 2011
The Girl In the Steel Corset
By Kady Cross
The Steampunk Chronicles
The Girl: Finley Jayne outwardly seems a purely ordinary Victorian serving girl, apart from her beauty. What no one knows, however, is that she has a dark side--a split personality that enables her to knock out a man with one punch. A punch, or, in the case of the cruel, boorish son of her latest employer, a kick.
The Duke: Griffin King is the exeedingly rich, rather eccentric young Duke of Greythorne. His parents had discovered the Organites, tiny creatures able to exactly mimic the body's cellular behavior. Griffin takes Finley in after he runs her over as she is running from her employers' house after defending herself from their son. His friends protest, correctly believing her dangerous, but inncorrectly assuming her dangerous to their friend and themselves.
The Genius: Emily O'Brien is an amazingly talented inventor and mechanic, although unrecognised by the world at large. She lives in Greythorne House and in the course of the story creates a terrifing and beautiful mechanical cat, the fantastical corset mentioned in the title, and saves the lives of Sam and Griffin both.
The Mechanical Man: Sam Morgan was attacked and almost killed by an automaton gone berserk. Emily Saved him, but in the proscess replaced his heart, right arm, and parts of his shoulder and legs with metal and Organite. Sam now fears machines and sometimes almost hates Emily for what she did.
The Mechanist: A criminal mastermind who uses automatons, the Mechanist was behind the attack on Sam as well as several other crimes. He is currently carrying out a terrifying plot against Griffin and his band of strays, as well as stealing several objects relating the the Queen.
Will Griff and his friends survive the coming battles, and can Finley come to terms with her dark side before someone gets hurt or she loses her new friends? Read the book and find out.
I recently got into steampunk, and I must say I love it! Robots and airships and corsets, oh my! The Girl in the Steel Corset is a wonderful example of the genre, and the writing, plot, and characters are fantastic! A wonderfully shadowy London is revealed within, gleaming with rivets and steel. I love this book, I really do, and am waiting eagerly and rather hyperactively for the sequel. There WILL be a sequel, I must believe, or I shall be quite put out.
The Steampunk Chronicles
The Girl: Finley Jayne outwardly seems a purely ordinary Victorian serving girl, apart from her beauty. What no one knows, however, is that she has a dark side--a split personality that enables her to knock out a man with one punch. A punch, or, in the case of the cruel, boorish son of her latest employer, a kick.
The Duke: Griffin King is the exeedingly rich, rather eccentric young Duke of Greythorne. His parents had discovered the Organites, tiny creatures able to exactly mimic the body's cellular behavior. Griffin takes Finley in after he runs her over as she is running from her employers' house after defending herself from their son. His friends protest, correctly believing her dangerous, but inncorrectly assuming her dangerous to their friend and themselves.
The Genius: Emily O'Brien is an amazingly talented inventor and mechanic, although unrecognised by the world at large. She lives in Greythorne House and in the course of the story creates a terrifing and beautiful mechanical cat, the fantastical corset mentioned in the title, and saves the lives of Sam and Griffin both.
The Mechanical Man: Sam Morgan was attacked and almost killed by an automaton gone berserk. Emily Saved him, but in the proscess replaced his heart, right arm, and parts of his shoulder and legs with metal and Organite. Sam now fears machines and sometimes almost hates Emily for what she did.
The Mechanist: A criminal mastermind who uses automatons, the Mechanist was behind the attack on Sam as well as several other crimes. He is currently carrying out a terrifying plot against Griffin and his band of strays, as well as stealing several objects relating the the Queen.
Will Griff and his friends survive the coming battles, and can Finley come to terms with her dark side before someone gets hurt or she loses her new friends? Read the book and find out.
I recently got into steampunk, and I must say I love it! Robots and airships and corsets, oh my! The Girl in the Steel Corset is a wonderful example of the genre, and the writing, plot, and characters are fantastic! A wonderfully shadowy London is revealed within, gleaming with rivets and steel. I love this book, I really do, and am waiting eagerly and rather hyperactively for the sequel. There WILL be a sequel, I must believe, or I shall be quite put out.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
The Color of Magic
By Terry Pratchett
A Novel Of Discworld
Ankh-Morpork has just recieved its first tourist--Twoflower from the Agatean Empire--and the notoriously inept wizard Rincewind has volunteered to be his guide. Well, sort of volunteered, in the sense that he could, if he so chose, leave Twoflower to his fate, and he is not going to get paid for being his guide. He could leave the tourist, that is, if Rincewind wanted to die, as Lord Vetinari made perfectly clear. Now, Rincewind is not a wise wizard, nor powerful, nor brave. What he is, is so cowardly that he can survive almost anything, and he also has one of the Great Spells hanging out in his brain, causing him to be unable to learn any other spell and to be expelled from the Unseen University. So he is really the perfect guide for Twoflower. For, as Rincewind put it, "if complete and utter chaos were lightning, then [Twoflower would] be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armor shouting [uncomplimentary things about the gods]." After a misunderstanding in which Twoflower accidentally causes all of Ankh-Morpork to be burnt down, the tourist and his reluctant guide set off across the Disc, narrowly escaping dragons, Bel-Shamharoth*, trolls, and falling off the edge of the Disc. Of course, they do get--oops, can't tell you that, it would spoil the story. Go read it and find out for yourself.
Technically the first book in the Discworld series, The Color of Magic won't really give you any information on Discworld that you wouldn't get from starting with any other book in the series, so it really doesn't matter which you read first. Anyway, I loved (of course) this book! It is over-the-top funny, and just generally awesome! Terry Pratchett, as always, seems unable to write a single paragraph that doesn't poke fun at the world in general, and humanity in specific. The Discworld is a beautifully realised world with fantastic characters and well satirized cliches.Love it, read it, tell other people to read it, re-read it, repeat!
*Also known as the Soul Render, the Sender of Eight, and "the flip side of the coin of which Good and Evil are but one side." Whatever it (he?) is, it has too many tentacles for comfort.
A Novel Of Discworld
Ankh-Morpork has just recieved its first tourist--Twoflower from the Agatean Empire--and the notoriously inept wizard Rincewind has volunteered to be his guide. Well, sort of volunteered, in the sense that he could, if he so chose, leave Twoflower to his fate, and he is not going to get paid for being his guide. He could leave the tourist, that is, if Rincewind wanted to die, as Lord Vetinari made perfectly clear. Now, Rincewind is not a wise wizard, nor powerful, nor brave. What he is, is so cowardly that he can survive almost anything, and he also has one of the Great Spells hanging out in his brain, causing him to be unable to learn any other spell and to be expelled from the Unseen University. So he is really the perfect guide for Twoflower. For, as Rincewind put it, "if complete and utter chaos were lightning, then [Twoflower would] be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armor shouting [uncomplimentary things about the gods]." After a misunderstanding in which Twoflower accidentally causes all of Ankh-Morpork to be burnt down, the tourist and his reluctant guide set off across the Disc, narrowly escaping dragons, Bel-Shamharoth*, trolls, and falling off the edge of the Disc. Of course, they do get--oops, can't tell you that, it would spoil the story. Go read it and find out for yourself.
Technically the first book in the Discworld series, The Color of Magic won't really give you any information on Discworld that you wouldn't get from starting with any other book in the series, so it really doesn't matter which you read first. Anyway, I loved (of course) this book! It is over-the-top funny, and just generally awesome! Terry Pratchett, as always, seems unable to write a single paragraph that doesn't poke fun at the world in general, and humanity in specific. The Discworld is a beautifully realised world with fantastic characters and well satirized cliches.Love it, read it, tell other people to read it, re-read it, repeat!
*Also known as the Soul Render, the Sender of Eight, and "the flip side of the coin of which Good and Evil are but one side." Whatever it (he?) is, it has too many tentacles for comfort.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Awesome Word (Or Phrase) of the Unspecified Random Time Period
Luscious: Adjective: Luscious means: pleasurable to the senses or mind; rich; or luxurious. So you could say... She bit into the luscious peach, the room was lusciously furnished, or her writing style was rich with luscious descriptions. I generally get a mental image of biting into a perfectly ripe, juicy peach when hearing or using this word. This is one of those words that doesn't get used enough in casual conversation. Why not try it out?
Friday, August 19, 2011
High Wizardry
By Diane Duane
Book Three of the Young Wizards Series
Nita's younger sister Dairine just found out that wizardry exists, and that her sister is a wizard. Star Wars addict that she is, Dairine is thrilled, and she wants wizardry. Then Nita's family gets a new computer, and Dairine discovers that it has some unusual software. The computer is a Manual, and Dairine is a wizard. Not only a wizard, but a wizard more powerful than Nita and Kit together. And all that power attracts attention. Dairine gets herself halfway across the galaxy before anyone realizes she's gone, and attracts the Lone Power's attention. She gives Its minions the slip and finds a planet light years away from the known universe to hide out until she figures out the computer better. The planet she finds turns out to be basically a giant computer chip, and sentient. It plugs into Dairine's computer, and she gives it everything Spot--the computer- has got, including the wizardry. The planet then produces the mobiles with Dairines help; small robot like creatures linked to the Motherboard--the planet--and eachother. THIS is the reason for Dairine's power. Wizardry is not random. powerful wizards appear when needed, and now Dairine must face off against the Lone Power, aiding in the mobiles Choice. Nita and Kit meanwhile, have found her missing, and with Peach, the local Senior wizards' psychic macaw have set off to find her. Can they find her before the Lone Power destroys the mobiles--and Dairine?
I have been meaning to do this post for a while now, but somehow never got around to it. High Wizardry is my favorite book in an absolutely wonderful series. Amazing characters and world, facinating plot, brilliant writing, Diane Duane's Young Wizard series is a must read for any fantasy lover. LOVE IT! I know I tend to gush in these reviews, but truly, this book is that good. They all are! Anyway, read the series, and READ THE BOOK!
Book Three of the Young Wizards Series
Nita's younger sister Dairine just found out that wizardry exists, and that her sister is a wizard. Star Wars addict that she is, Dairine is thrilled, and she wants wizardry. Then Nita's family gets a new computer, and Dairine discovers that it has some unusual software. The computer is a Manual, and Dairine is a wizard. Not only a wizard, but a wizard more powerful than Nita and Kit together. And all that power attracts attention. Dairine gets herself halfway across the galaxy before anyone realizes she's gone, and attracts the Lone Power's attention. She gives Its minions the slip and finds a planet light years away from the known universe to hide out until she figures out the computer better. The planet she finds turns out to be basically a giant computer chip, and sentient. It plugs into Dairine's computer, and she gives it everything Spot--the computer- has got, including the wizardry. The planet then produces the mobiles with Dairines help; small robot like creatures linked to the Motherboard--the planet--and eachother. THIS is the reason for Dairine's power. Wizardry is not random. powerful wizards appear when needed, and now Dairine must face off against the Lone Power, aiding in the mobiles Choice. Nita and Kit meanwhile, have found her missing, and with Peach, the local Senior wizards' psychic macaw have set off to find her. Can they find her before the Lone Power destroys the mobiles--and Dairine?
I have been meaning to do this post for a while now, but somehow never got around to it. High Wizardry is my favorite book in an absolutely wonderful series. Amazing characters and world, facinating plot, brilliant writing, Diane Duane's Young Wizard series is a must read for any fantasy lover. LOVE IT! I know I tend to gush in these reviews, but truly, this book is that good. They all are! Anyway, read the series, and READ THE BOOK!
Friday, July 1, 2011
Awesome Word (Or Phrase) of the Unspecified Random Time Period
Frakking Gobfarks: One of Emily the Strange's unique and interesting expletives. I have no idea what it means, but it is cool.
Dealing With Dragons
By Patricia C. Wrede
The Enchanted Forest Chronicles, Book One
Cimorene has most emphatically never been a "proper" princess. She has, in succession, gotten people to teach her fencing, magic, Latin, cooking, economics, and juggling. Each series of lessons stoppped as soon as her parents found out. Such things are not "proper" for a princess. Simply not done. Then, the final straw. Her parent attempt to engage her to an idiot prince who is handsome and nothing else. A talking frog--not a transformed prince--tells her that he knows some people who can help her. These people turned out to be dragons.
That is how Cimorene came to volunteer as a dragon's princess, yet another thing condisered "not done". It suits her though. Well, apart from the knights constantly showing up to rescue her and refusing to tell anyone else that she doesn't want to be rescued. But she has a bigger problem than them. The wizards have been poking aroung the Mountains of Morning more than usual, and getting into places they shouldn't. Since they steal magic, which the dragons don't like, and tend to be rather sinister, this is bad. What are they up to, and why does soapy water with lemon juice make a good weapon? You'll have to read the book to find out.
No, really, read the book.
One of what I consider classics, this is a great book--series--that I have been in love with for quite a few years now. A great read for all ages, I heartily reccomend Dealing with dragons to anyone who likes fantasy and unconventional princesses. I just finished rereading it for the....uh....(insert large number here) time. REALLY GOOD BOOK, REALLY GOOD AUTHOR.
The Enchanted Forest Chronicles, Book One
Cimorene has most emphatically never been a "proper" princess. She has, in succession, gotten people to teach her fencing, magic, Latin, cooking, economics, and juggling. Each series of lessons stoppped as soon as her parents found out. Such things are not "proper" for a princess. Simply not done. Then, the final straw. Her parent attempt to engage her to an idiot prince who is handsome and nothing else. A talking frog--not a transformed prince--tells her that he knows some people who can help her. These people turned out to be dragons.
That is how Cimorene came to volunteer as a dragon's princess, yet another thing condisered "not done". It suits her though. Well, apart from the knights constantly showing up to rescue her and refusing to tell anyone else that she doesn't want to be rescued. But she has a bigger problem than them. The wizards have been poking aroung the Mountains of Morning more than usual, and getting into places they shouldn't. Since they steal magic, which the dragons don't like, and tend to be rather sinister, this is bad. What are they up to, and why does soapy water with lemon juice make a good weapon? You'll have to read the book to find out.
No, really, read the book.
One of what I consider classics, this is a great book--series--that I have been in love with for quite a few years now. A great read for all ages, I heartily reccomend Dealing with dragons to anyone who likes fantasy and unconventional princesses. I just finished rereading it for the....uh....(insert large number here) time. REALLY GOOD BOOK, REALLY GOOD AUTHOR.
Monday, June 6, 2011
The Fairy Godmother
By Mercedes Lackey
A Tale of the Five Hundred Kingdoms
Elena was supposed to be Cinderella, but things went a little askew. The local Prince was six, and Elena's stepmother left town, allowing her to try to escape. She was offered a job by what seemed like a kind, if a bit nutty old lady. Turned out, Bella was the Fairy Godmother for Elena's kingdom, and the job was to be her apprentice! Elena learns that Fairy Godmothers oversee the kingdoms, making sure that an invisible but overwhelmingly powerful force called the Tradition doesn't ruin too many peoples lives. The Tradition forces people's lives into fairy tales, songs and legends, but for every person who gets a happy ending, there are those who don't. Fairy tales don't always end happily, and even for those that do, people can die. And then there are the people who never get to finish their story, like Elena. Godmothers make sure that the bad stories don't happen, and steer the good stories to the proper outcome. They also make sure that the people who need to learn important lessons, become better people, and that sort of thing.
Elena becomes a Godmother, looking after several kingdoms. Of course, this means dealing with a lot of idiots. And unicorns. I'll explain the unicorns later. Anyway, while working out a part of one fairy tale--three princes, old lady (Elena in disguise), two of the princes are nasty to old lady, one is nice, the nice one get helped, the others get punished, blah blah blah--one prince is so nasty, she turns him into a donkey. Not exactly Traditional, but it'll do. Alexander--the prince--of course believes she's an evil witch, but at that point he's an arrogant numskull with a bad case of royal superiority, so whatever. He'll figure it out. Since she needs a donkey anyway, and she can't just let him wander around the forest on his own, Elena takes him home with her to work and hopefully learn something and get over his royalness.
This is going to be fun--for us readers at least. Maybe not so much for the characters. Heheheh.
I love this series. LOVE IT! Mercedes Lackey is quickly becoming one of my favorite authors. The Fairy Godmother is a great book in a great series. Pure fantasy, not super dark either. Funny, inventive, and extremely well written, The Fairy Godmother is a must read fairytale mash-up.
p.s. I forgot the unicorns. They are very beautiful, but have no brains to speak of, especially in the presence of a virgin. They go all floppy and even more idiotic than usual. There is reason they are rare, despite the fact that they can fight if they have to and occasionally pull their heads out of the clouds enough to actually be smart. And they like to eat Elena's peas.
A Tale of the Five Hundred Kingdoms
Elena was supposed to be Cinderella, but things went a little askew. The local Prince was six, and Elena's stepmother left town, allowing her to try to escape. She was offered a job by what seemed like a kind, if a bit nutty old lady. Turned out, Bella was the Fairy Godmother for Elena's kingdom, and the job was to be her apprentice! Elena learns that Fairy Godmothers oversee the kingdoms, making sure that an invisible but overwhelmingly powerful force called the Tradition doesn't ruin too many peoples lives. The Tradition forces people's lives into fairy tales, songs and legends, but for every person who gets a happy ending, there are those who don't. Fairy tales don't always end happily, and even for those that do, people can die. And then there are the people who never get to finish their story, like Elena. Godmothers make sure that the bad stories don't happen, and steer the good stories to the proper outcome. They also make sure that the people who need to learn important lessons, become better people, and that sort of thing.
Elena becomes a Godmother, looking after several kingdoms. Of course, this means dealing with a lot of idiots. And unicorns. I'll explain the unicorns later. Anyway, while working out a part of one fairy tale--three princes, old lady (Elena in disguise), two of the princes are nasty to old lady, one is nice, the nice one get helped, the others get punished, blah blah blah--one prince is so nasty, she turns him into a donkey. Not exactly Traditional, but it'll do. Alexander--the prince--of course believes she's an evil witch, but at that point he's an arrogant numskull with a bad case of royal superiority, so whatever. He'll figure it out. Since she needs a donkey anyway, and she can't just let him wander around the forest on his own, Elena takes him home with her to work and hopefully learn something and get over his royalness.
This is going to be fun--for us readers at least. Maybe not so much for the characters. Heheheh.
I love this series. LOVE IT! Mercedes Lackey is quickly becoming one of my favorite authors. The Fairy Godmother is a great book in a great series. Pure fantasy, not super dark either. Funny, inventive, and extremely well written, The Fairy Godmother is a must read fairytale mash-up.
p.s. I forgot the unicorns. They are very beautiful, but have no brains to speak of, especially in the presence of a virgin. They go all floppy and even more idiotic than usual. There is reason they are rare, despite the fact that they can fight if they have to and occasionally pull their heads out of the clouds enough to actually be smart. And they like to eat Elena's peas.
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